It's a version of the same conversation we had at our old apartment when I was pregnant with Curran. As a couple, you become so used to the cadence that is just the two of you. There is both quiet and dance parties and nights when you feel like cooking and others when it's refreshing to get dressed up and go out. Before kids, it's hard to imagine how he, she, they, will fit in to a rhythm that is not always easy, but familiar. But somehow, and not without tears and grace in the adjustment, it's as if I don't remember our son not being here. I don't pine for the quieter days or cleaner floors or less expensive grocery bill. I never felt something was missing, but he makes us feel more whole. "What will it be like with another little person around here?" I ask. It's more rhetorical. I don't expect Hugh to have the answer but suppose by asking, I want him to tell me it's going to be alright, that we can do it, that we will adjust just like we did the first time and he does.
There is a big sliding mirror behind our bathroom sink and not a beautiful one. It is heavy, hard to open and has a yellow gold trim dating it's origin to the 70's when the house was built. I stand profile to it to take in the shape of my belly. My thighs and hips are showing the lack of exercise and bean and cheese burritos that have taken the place of my pre-pregnancy gigantic green salads. Same song, one year later, I feel like I was just doing this? I was. My body has carried a child, now growing another one, and in my own self consciousness' that can often steal all of the joy from those magical feats, I remember the work that that belly, thighs and hips are doing. The growing and the nursing, your body doesn't feel like your own for well over a year and I think it's ok to find that a little crazy making. I am growing a little girl, our daughter, and vanity aside, it's the most magical process. It feels different this time - harder, hungrier, less beautiful, if I may be so honest. They are babies and then they are PEOPLE! Curran has his own language that we can sometimes understand and gives hugs with a little pat and deduces that any toy that does not move or make noise needs a battery ("mommy. daddy. bowerry?"). He waves at airplanes and dislikes the car seat and really likes to throw things "awey". I, we, are completely taken by him. How does one do that twice?!?! So much to process and anticipate but come January, we will be welcoming a baby girl to the family and I may just burst from how completely I love my babies.
Thank goodness I do recipe development for work because it forces me to cook when I otherwise can easily talk myself out of it lately. Ashley and I have been developing recipes for Electrolux this past year and they have a seriously delicious looking collection going on over there now. Because it has been blazing hot here and the less heating elements I have to turn on, the better, I wanted to point you towards this super simple salad. I realize we're seeing the end of stonefruits and tomatoes now but they are still sweet and juicy so get to it.
NECTARINE, TOMATO + BURRATA CAPRESE
Serves 2-4
The full recipe can be found at Live.Love.Lux. along with a heap of other great tomato recipes this month. Think of this as less of a recipe and more an assembly of produce and creamy cheese at it's best. I like this with a bit of balsamic too or pile the goods on garlic rubbed toast.
