A BIRTHDAY CAKE.

My personality falls somewhere around type A-. I like order, organization, a moderate routine and things done right, but only to a certain extent. My bed is made before I leave my room in the morning, I could tell you every item in my fridge and in what order I need to use said items to not waste any food, I give copies of my travel documents to my parents before I leave the country, I have never run out of gas, missed an appointment or been late on a payment. On the contrary, I have a terrible habit of not always putting on my seatbelt and exceeding the speed limit. I've been known to go days without drinking water. I choose which rules do and do not apply to me, hate reading or listening to directions and am a terrible measurer (which makes writing a cookbook sort of interesting).

I have been wanting to make a layer cake for quite some time, it even made my list of 'things to do before I turn 30', so I set out to cross that off my list while I still have a few years to perfect the goal. My discretion in baking, as it is more about perfection, is typically off (see paragraph 1). It is not a science I am invested in. I did however want this cake to be my own, so I flipped through numerous books comparing ratios of liquid to dry to cocoa, to make sure that with my expectations and friends coming over to celebrate my birthday, it would at least hold itself together. I tried to lighten it up as much as I could, but I didn't want to take too many risks - a layer cake is kind of an investment, not the time to get hard pressed on caloric content. So I gladly spent my birthday afternoon, in the kitchen, measuring and taking careful note of my baking project. I settled right in to that A- spot, allowing myself freedom with ingredients while conceding to the ratio I'd studied.

Myself and the blog share the same birthday, so as fun as it's been celebrating with my sweet husband, family and friends, I am also so grateful that you are here. This space is responsible for creativity, encouragement and new friendships for me, and the community continues to amaze me. You are wonderful people. Thank you. I wish I could share cake with you.

COCOA LAYER CAKE WITH BLACKBERRIES + MASCARPONE CREAM

Makes one 9'' Layer Cake

You can make the pastry cream a day or two in advance to get ahead. I frosted my cake about three hours before I served it and it held just fine in the fridge. If I were to guess, I'd say it would be fine in there for about 6-8 and keeping the integrity of the whipped cream. I am a big fan of muscavado as a natural cane sugar, but light brown sugar is a fine alternative.

Lastly, this cake is on the dense side. The batter is pretty thick and it doesn't cook for long. The filling and whipped cream balance this out, but if you like a more moist cake, swap in oil for the butter. I haven't tested this, but it's worth a shot.

Pastry Cream

1/2 Cup Heavy Cream

1/2 Cup Lowfat Milk

1 Vanilla Bean (or 2 tsp. Vanilla Extract)

4 Egg Yolks

1/4 Cup Natural Cane Sugar

2 Tbsp. Whole Wheat Pastry Flour

2 Tbsp. Unsalted Butter

Pinch of Salt

Cocoa Cake

1/2 Cup Muscavado Sugar

1/2 Cup Butter, room temperature

2 Eggs, lightly beaten

1/2 Cup Agave Nectar

1 1/4 Cup Lowfat Buttermilk

2 tsp. Vanilla Extract

1 Cup Whole Wheat Pastry Flour

1 Cup Unbleached Cake Flour

1/3 Cup Non Alkalized Cocoa Powder

3/4 tsp. Baking Soda

1 tsp. Sea Salt

3 oz. Good Quality Chocolate, chopped well (milk or dark, your choice)

1/3 Cup Blackberry Preserves (I used Bonne Maman)

Mascarpone Whipping Cream

1 Pint / 2 Cups Whipping Cream

1 tsp. Vanilla Extract

1/2 Cup Confectioners Sugar

1/4 Cup Muscavado

Pinch of Salt

8 oz. / 1 Cup Mascarpone Cheese

Handful of Fresh Blackberries

1. To make the pastry cream, heat the milk, cream and vanilla bean in a saucepan until just boiling at the edges. Turn off the heat and let it steep for 10 minutes. Open up the vanilla bean and scrap the seeds into the milk. Whisk the yolks and sugar together in another bowl. While whisking, add a bit of warm cream to the yolk mixture to warm it up, add another half cup, continuing to whisk. Now that everything is the same temperature, add the warm yolk mix to the saucepan. When the mixture starts to simmer, add the flour 1 Tbsp. at a time, while whisking, like you're making a bechamel. It'll take about 30 seconds and you'll see it start to thicken, once it looks like the consistency of sour cream, turn off the heat, and continue to stir a few more times to make sure everything is smooth. Stir in the butter and salt. Let it cool and transfer to the fridge while you prepare the cake.

2. Preheat the oven to 350'. Butter two, 9'' cake pans. Line the bottom with parchment for cake removal insurance, and rub a bit of butter on that as well, set aside.

For the cake, cream the butter and sugar together until light and fluffy, about two minutes. Add the eggs, agave and buttermilk and mix until evenly combined. In another large mixing bowl, sift all of the dry ingredients together, getting rid of any clumps. Add half the wet mixture to the dry, stirring gently, add the remaining wet mixture and stir to just combine. Stir in the chocolate and divide the mix between the two cake pans. Bake on the middle rack for 14-16 minutes. Check for doneness by sticking a butter knife in the center, being sure it comes out clean. Remove and cool completely.

3. Once the cake is completely cooled, invert it out of the pan and remove the parchment. Place one layer, with it's most even side up, on the plate or stand you'll serve it on. I like to slide a few pieces of parchment around the outside to keep it clean. Spread the pasty cream all across the top surface (you'll think it's a lot, but add it all, the cake absorbs it while it sits, it's not as thick as you think). Gently spread the preserves on top of the cream, it will mix in a bit and that is fine. Place the other cake on top, pushing in any filling that smushed out.

4. Whip the cold whipping cream with an electric or stand mixer, once it starts to hold shape, add the confectioners sugar, muscavado, vanilla and a pinch of salt. When you get stiff peaks, about 3 minutes, add the mascarpone and continue to whip until evenly combined. Frost the cake generously and garnish with fresh blackberries. Cake can be kept in the fridge for about 6 hours. If it chills in teh fridge, let it sit at room temperature for about 30 minutes before you cut in to it. Cold cake isn't as flavorful.

* I piled all the frosting on top and gently pushed it down the sides to frost.

SALTED CARAMEL ICE CREAM

Hugh and I fell into doing this thing where we keep a count when are swept in a moment of gratitude/happiness/love. You know, those moments where time slows and you think to yourself, wow, this life is pretty fantastic. It could be about anything really, as those moments aren't ever anticipated. Like when our washing machine exploded with water yesterday and we were frantically trying to get the gallons of water into the two small buckets we own, us laughing and hustling together with our pants soaking wet.

That was number 72.

It seemed a charming newlywed moment, and we were lucky to have each other in that instance. It doesn't have to be about romantic love, that's just how we started it, as sort of a verbal affirmation to each other. Everyone gets overwhelmed with emotion at some point and it feels good to recognize it with someone.

Given all the hurt, hate and misfortune going on in the world, I think now is as good a time as ever to make a note of good things you have. My heart breaks each time I see a picture of the destruction in Japan. I feel a sense of guilt - why them and not me? A frustration that my aunt's cancer is back or a loss for words in how to console my mother in-law, who lost her mother on friday. There is a lot of crappy stuff that gets thrown at us, and making a note of sweet moments is what keeps my heart from getting too heavy.

And then there was this ice cream. A rich, decadent, ultimately satisfying dessert. We've kind of been on an ice cream bend lately, most specifically these pretty little containers of Talenti Gelato. Hugh fell in love with their Sea Salt Caramel flavor, and I was convinced with a little elbow grease we could make our own. Below is something that I would say is pretty dang close. I apologize for the surplus of treats lately. Such a disgrace to my own blog name. I am hoarding every original idea I have for the book, and it seems the reprieve I get from trying to get creative with seasonal produce, is to whip up a tasty treat. No harm in a bit of ice cream.

SALTED CARAMEL ICE CREAM // Makes 1.5 pints

I read about achieving success with caramel in Rhulman's book Ratio. A simply written, but informative read. The ice cream is based on memory from my time working at Villa Lucia in Motevettolini, Italy.

I only push using organic products every so often, as I know it is not always accessible or affordable, but this would be the time to splurge if you can. You will taste a difference.

4 Large Egg Yolks

3/4 Cup Natural Cane Sugar

2 Tbsp. Unsalted Butter

1/2 tsp. Sea Salt

1 Cup Heavy Cream

3/4 Cup Milk

2 tsp. Real Vanilla Extract

1. Bring everything you are using out of the fridge, to get it close to room temperature.

2. Put the yolks in a large glass bowl, over a pot of just barely simmering water, being careful to not let the water touch the bottom of the bowl (double boiler method). Whisk the yolks until they start to become a pale golden color, about 4 minutes. Remove from the heat.

3. In a heavy bottomed pot (enameled cast iron if you have one), heat the sugar with a few drops of water over medium heat. Once it starts to melt, stir it around with a heat proof utensil to ensure even cooking. Watch it closely. When just a few bits of sugar are left and it's a lovely golden brown color (this took me about 7 minutes), sprinkle in the salt. Add the butter and stir. It will bubble a bit, which is normal. Slowly pour in the cream while you continue to stir. The caramel will seize up, just keep it over medium heat to melt it back down, then take it off the heat. Add the milk and vanilla and stir again. Let it cool about 5 minutes.

4. Starting with just a few spoonfuls, add some of the caramel mix to the egg yolks and stir to combine. You are trying to bring everything to the same temperature so it doesn't scorch the yolks. Add the rest of the caramel mix to the yolks and stir. Pour it through a fine mesh strainer in to another bowl, and refrigerate the mix for about an hour or two to cool.

5. Pour the chilled mix into an ice cream machine and let it do it's thing. For some scientific reason I don't know, this ice cream never really gets super firm. Keep it frozen in an airtight container for up to a week. It is great with a little sprinkle of cocoa nibs or roasted almonds for contrast.

BROWN RICE CRISP TREATS

I don't read as much as I'd like. Lots of blogs and cookbooks, but not as much fiction as I would prefer. I love when a good writer really draws you in - when something they write feels so familiar, it's like they are describing an emotion that you weren't certain you were feeling until you read their piece. I was reading Molly's post about having house guests after spending quiet days alone, working and writing from home. It reminded me how I felt last week, as we had all our evenings booked with some plan between house guests, a going away party for a best friend, dinner dates, tax appointments and the like. I really like being busy, it makes me feel more alive, more motivated.

I haven't really found a rhythm with this working from home deal. I am easily distracted, usually off task and missing the affirmation when I do something well. It has it's moments of lonliness, regardless of my beloved being here with me most of the time. I feel SO lucky for the schedule we keep, and there is not a dinner time prayer that goes by that we don't express our gratitude for having the means to do what we love, but it is different. I connected with Molly's post, because she was reveling in what fun it is to spend time with people you delight in. I was entertained by the dinner conversation with our house guests over the art of a perfect veggie burger, I waxed sentimental over the goodbye dinner of a dear friend from second grade moving states away, and laughed at another friends house while we watched random You Tube break dancing dance videos after a great dinner (isn't that how your dinner dates end?). All to say, introvert or not, there is nothing like the pleasure of good company.

BROWN RICE CRISPIES // Makes one 8x8 pan

Adapted from Vanilla & Lace

You can find brown rice syrup at most health food stores. It is thicker than maple syrup, so the treats will stick together a little better. Maple syrup works well, but is thinner, so the treats are more fragile/crumbly. The dark chocolate lends a sharp contrast to the crisps, but milk chocolate would be a fine complement as well. The amount below gives a pretty sturdy chocolate layer, simply half it if you want something lighter.

1/2 Cup Creamy Almond Butter

1/3 Brown Rice Syrup (or Maple Syrup)

1 tsp. Real Vanilla Extract

3 Cups Crisped Brown Rice

7 oz. Good Quality, Dark Chocolate (I used Valrhona 71%)

1 Tbsp. Unsalted Butter

1. Using a double broiler method, set a glass bowl over a small pot of simmering water, making sure that the bowl is not touching the water. Put the almond butter, brown rice syrup and vanilla extract in the bowl and stir until everything is evenly incorporated. Remove from the heat to cool a minute.

2. Put the crisped rice in a large bowl and pour the almond butter mixture on top, mix thoroughly.

3. Coat the bottom and sides of a 8x8 glass pan with a light coat of desired neutral tasting oil (coconut, canola, grapeseed etc.). Pour the rice mix in and push it down with the back of a spoon. Put it in the fridge while you make the chocolate layer.

4. Clean the bowl from the almond butter mix, and set up the double broiler again. Add the pieces of chocolate to melt slowly, stirring occasionally. When the chocolate is melted, add the butter and stir. Pour the chocolate on top of the rice crisps and quickly spread it across the top with an offset spatula or back of a spoon in an even layer. Refrigerate for at least an hour and a half to set and cut them in to squares with a sharp knife. Keep stored in the fridge and try to eat them within two days as the rice starts to absorb moisture.